Interview with Brenna Yovanoff

I read The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff last week and I’m still thinking about it; it was that bloody good! It’s about ugly things, love, friendship, courage, and secrets. The Replacement debuted at #10 on the New York Times children’s list, and is one of the best books I’ve read this year.

The Replacement
Though he lives in the small town of Gentry, Mackie comes from a world of tunnels and black murky water, a world of living dead girls ruled by a little tattooed princess. He is a Replacement—left in the crib of a human baby sixteen years ago. Now, because of fatal allergies to iron, blood, and consecrated ground, Mackie is slowly dying in the human world.
Mackie would give anything to live among us, to practice on his bass or spend time with an oddly intriguing girl named Tate. But when Tate’s baby sister goes missing, Mackie is drawn irrevocably into the underworld of Gentry, known as Mayhem. He must face the dark creatures of the Slag Heaps and find his rightful place, in our world, or theirs.

Brenna is one of the Merry Sisters of Fate, and I’ve enjoyed her short fiction for a while now. Her energy is incredible, and her writing has always affected me: I become the story, I’m empathic to the emotion, I love and loath her characters and, ‘I’d like to write like Brenna.’ She’s become an online mentor, and I squealed like a wild pig in a crocodile’s mouth when she let me interview her.

1) What was it about The Replacement that made you think, this is the one, this is the one I want to see published?

I wish I had a better answer to this, but I'm honestly not sure. I just had a feeling that this was The One and I needed to send it out into the world. I knew that agents and editors had been talking about wanting more YA fantasy told from a male point of view, and I felt like maybe I had what they were looking for.

2) I've noticed love is a recurring theme in YA, what's being in love like for you?

I think that love is a recurring YA theme precisely because when we experience it in adolescence, it's very new and very raw. There's a lot of uncertainty and confusion surrounding it and it can be very difficult to navigate. For me, being in love now is very different. There's a much greater sense of trust and security—it doesn't come with such an element of risk, partly because I know myself much better.

3) This, from your website, surprised me - "I'm bad at dancing, making decisions, and inspiring confidence as an authority figure. I suspect this is because I am short, and also terrible at sounding as though I have any idea what I'm talking about." And yet your writing is powerful, eloquent, and seductive. What do you think prevents these traits from manifesting in your personality and life?

Thanks for the wonderful compliment, Simon! I do think that one of the great things about writing is being able to tap into characteristics one might not exhibit in one's daily life. I'm a chronic second-guesser, and I think this is because whenever I look at something, even if it's pretty straightforward, I see a lot of possibilities. This trait is better for—say—writing, than it is for deciding on which route to take in a crowded city.

4) If you had the opportunity to talk to young Brenna, what age would you be, and what would you say?

I would probably talk to Brenna at fourteen and tell her to stop worrying so much about how to socialize because no one else has any idea what's going on either, and those heavy bangs are really not a good idea, and please, please try harder at Algebra, because in two years you'll find out that you are actually really good at Basic Physics, but you won't be able to move on to the advanced class because of your woeful knowledge of algebra.

5) Your presence online is comforting, I already consider you a mentor, and I believe you'll become a role model for readers, writers, and young people. Are you ready for this, and is this 'fame' something you've dreamed about it?

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Simon! Personally, I don't know if mentoring is something people are ever really ready for. I think people find themselves in that position, either voluntarily or by chance, and then they get to see if they're cut out for it—so if mentoring turns out to be a part of all this, I'll have to see how it plays out! As far as fame goes, I'll be honest, I've never really dreamed about it. When I was little, I really hated being the center of attention, and even now, if I'm given a choice, I prefer to be an observer rather than a participant. So I don't think much about being famous, just about writing stories that people want to read.

6) Do you think the fantasy worlds that writers create only exist in their imaginations or are they created from something real? Are the fangs, fur, and fey real?

While I'm definitely not a literalist about fantasy creatures, I do think there's something to the idea that we as a species are driven to create them as expressions of our own cultural fears or desires. We invent creatures who transform from human beings into animal counterparts, or who live forever and never age or get sick. I think these things speak clearly to ideas about death and self-control. They might not be real, but they seem to be very effective metaphors for a lot of things that are.

7) Zombies are roaming the streets and your critique partners have been infected. Do you:
a) Blast them?
b) Keep them as pets and train them to be vegans?
c) Let them bite you so you can still be friends?
d) Another option?

Well, you're talking about Tess and Maggie here, so I would absolutely need to find a cure! Even if I could keep them as pets, I'm pretty sure they'd be no good to me as either writers or critique partners, and if it's the zombie apocalypse, I expect to be holed up for quite a while and I'm definitely going to need them to keep writing new stories for me to read!

Thanks for having me, Simon!

Isn’t she cool!

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What to Expect After a Healing

There has been a lot of interest in the 100 free healings offer and since I can’t respond to every email I will try to answer the questions in a series of posts.

The most common response to healing that I hear from my clients is, “I feel great,” but often they can’t describe what has changed; they just feel different. This post will help you to identify what has changed and promote further healing, and I’d also recommend reading this post on self-healing.

Like the healing responses during a healing I don’t know what you will experience after. I’ve witnessed extraordinary medical responses with some clients only to have the illness or injury reappear weeks or months later. Ultimately the client is in control of what happens in the future, and in these cases I’d suggest the clients hadn’t changed the way they think or feel about themselves. Self-awareness, observation, action, and courage are needed to enjoy a happy and healthy life. Success ranges from negligible to miraculous and even though I’ve done countless healings I can’t guarantee or predict the response.

There are two common pathways of healing:

• Clients leave smiling and live a pain and illness free life, and I don’t hear from them again until they refer a new client to me twelve months later.
• Clients leave dazed and then experience fatigue, mood shifts, depression, temporarily relive past injuries, illness, and emotions—one client had acne, similar to what she had as a teenager, for a day, her breasts ached for six hours, she experienced the pain of a ten year old knee injury for an hour, she sobbed uncontrollably for half a day, and she had flu like symptoms for a day—over time these incidences fade and health and joy manifests, seemingly from nowhere and sometimes without the client noticing. One day they just feel great.

Of course there are numerous variations on these outcomes, and some clients re-book because the experience is so bloody good and they like the stories I tell. I never advise my clients to re-book, I let them make that decision, but with chronic illness’ I like to see clients more than once, and I also like to see immediate family members.

Depression and addictive behaviours are more difficult to shift and clients have to be proactive in changing thinking patterns and behaviour. I’ve had immediate success with depression a few times, but usually there are follow up appointments.

I don’t ever advise anyone to stop taking prescribed medication or to stop seeing their doctors. I’ve had clients who have been unable to take drugs after seeing me, they can’t even put the tablet into their mouths, but this is a decision you should discuss with your doctor.

I’ve also had the same response with smokers. I saw a client four days in a row and she was unable to smoke after the sessions. The first day she forced herself to smoke ten cigarettes, but she felt nauseous after. By the fourth day she didn’t have the desire to smoke. Apparently, four months later she started smoking again. The intelligence of our energy fields, if we pay attention, will guide us to health, but we’re in control. Be mindful of what you’re creating. Be responsible.

If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments. Talk soon.

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Healing Responses

If you’re considering booking an appointment with me, or participating in the 100 free healings offer, then I’d advise reading this article. I’ve attempted to make this list as comprehensive as possible, but I’m constantly surprised by the responses my clients experience, and it’s likely that you might experience something I’ve not witnessed before. This list is in no particular order, and you might experience all, some, or none of these responses.

• Sleep state. It’s rare for clients not to relax enough to fall asleep. They’re often unaware of this until they wake. They describe hearing the music, but not being able to feel their body, and are surprised when I tell them they’ve been twitching and snoring.
• OBE (out of body experience). Not many clients record leaving their bodies, but often coming back is uncomfortable and you might feel nauseous, sluggish, disorientated, dizzy, fearful, cold, or flushed.
• Puff breathing. Every client who falls asleep breathes the same way. When they exhale their lips pop open and air is expelled in a rush. The duration and time between puffs varies, but everyone seems to do it.
• Crying. The majority of clients cry at some time during the healing. Some people cry silently, others sob uncontrollably. Often they don’t know why they’re crying, they just need to.
• Spasmodic twitching and movements. The most common is rapid eye movement and head shaking.
• Floating. It’s common for limbs to float off the table.
• An aroused sensual response. Men have gotten erections and women have orgasmed on the healing table. 90% of my clients are women and many of them experience a feeling similar to arousal in varying degrees.
• You may believe that you’ve been rolled over, but you haven’t actually moved.
• Loss of feeling. It may feel like you’re floating above the table, or on water. You’re aware, but you can’t feel anything.
• Heightened senses and sensitivity (this is one of the reasons for the sensual response). Sense of smell and hearing is amplified and even though your eyes might be closed you will still see the room.
• Pain. This is a strange one, but occasionally clients experience pain. I think the main reason is because of nervousness or fear, but I also believe it’s an unconscious desire for physical proof something is happening and the body field creates evidence. Residue emotion—anger, frustration, fear, guilt, hatred, self-loathing—in the energy field can cause physical pain when it’s shifting. Assisted by spirit, the intelligence of the body field self-manipulates muscles and joints, and sometimes minor pain is experienced.
• Communication and interaction with spirit. I’ve seen client’s hands floating in the air holding onto a parent’s or grandparent’s hand. Mothers who have lost a child will feel them in their arms or womb. Clients frequently tell me that they’ve seen and talked to family in spirit, angels, guides, and Jesus. It’s common to feel spirits hands on you. Sometimes I step away from the table and clients will still feel hands resting on them.
• A slideshow of images of moments in this life and past lives are often seen by clients. This usually accompanies the rapid eye movements.
• Gurgling, popping, and movement through the body. Often the sounds, similar to digestive sounds, follow the movements of my hand.
• A full bladder.
• Involuntary gasping or screaming.
• All emotions.
• Relive and act out moments in your life.
• A youthful appearance.
• Changes in eye colour.
• A depressed response. I’ve noticed about one in fifteen clients will feel depressed and vulnerable after a healing. This usually sets in six to twelve hours after the healing. If this happens I’ll need to see you again or give you a distant healing as soon as possible. By neutralising the reactive frequencies in your field you no longer feel like yourself. This shift in identity and how you now interact energetically with the world overwhelms some people. In every instance the second healing fixes this feeling.
• Gary’s response.

There are many more subtle and unique responses, but these are the most common. If you have any questions please leave them in the comments.

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It’s Our Thoughts and Intentions That Create

I thought I’d share an incident that highlights the connection between healer/reader and client. To accelerate healing or evolve a reading spirit needs the client to be interactive: think, act, and ultimately create.

I was a guest speaker at a spiritual church a few weeks ago, and the first thing I said to a gentleman in the audience was, “I feel like I have a wooden leg,” and I gestured to which leg and tapped my leg. The gesture and posture change happen when spirit is overlayed in my energy field.

Usually I’m not a name or number guy. I’ll get names that sound like: Ray, Kay, May, etc. It may be that the name I’m searching for is Mr/Miss Day. I’m comfortable and confident with the way that I receive the information, and as much as I’d like to get the names accurately and every time I don’t allow this trait to undermine my confidence.

I had no acknowledgement from the man that the wooden leg was important. I then said, “I’m on your father’s side, grandparent generation, I feel separated from the family, so this indicates to me I’m talking about an uncle or someone like an uncle.” No response. “I feel that this man lived through the Second World War, but didn’t lose his leg during the war.” No response. I then described his build and temperament, and the random images I was seeing. No response.

I know I’m right, but I’ve had no response, and it’s now I feel the connection with the spirit disengaging, and the other three spirits that had lined up to speak to the man disappeared. I finish speaking to the man and turn to someone else, and now he says, “My uncle Jock had a wooden leg.”

He hadn’t forgotten; he was waiting for me to say, “Jock.” He was testing me, and I’ve been in this situation before, and it messes up the reading. All he had to do was smile or tell me he had a relative with a wooden leg and the information would’ve flowed freely.

I know of a brilliant psychic medium who was set up by a sceptic and a journalist, and unwittingly she continued talking, but the information was inaccurate. The information doesn’t stop, it’s just skewed. This incident undermined the reader’s confidence and they considered retiring. Thankfully, because this reader is amazing, they did not.

The client has the power to influence a reading and a healing.

I don’t mind if you’re a sceptic, but be honest. It’s called a conversation, and before we speak we think, and it’s our thoughts and intentions that create.
 
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A Client’s Perspective

For many years I had no eye witnesses to validate my experiences with spirit. Other mediums and healers in the spiritual circles I attended didn’t have the experiences I was having and no one worked with spirit the way that I did. When I started healing full time I rarely asked for testimonials, and it didn’t seem appropriate or respectful to do so. Clients are often overwhelmed by the healing experience. They’ve experienced something that they cannot begin to describe. All my ‘best’ stories remain anonymous and dream-like.

The more time that I spend speaking to people who work with spirit, the more I realise that they’re only talking and not experiencing. This is a difficult field to work in: I don’t know how or why I have the experiences that I do, I don’t know how I communicate with spirit; I’m in the business of, I-don’t-know. I simply have the experience.

I understand why people are sceptical. I’m sceptical when I hear a medium say that they can teach people to do this. I break all the rules and hierarchy around so called spiritual protocols, and I’ve seen others do the same. I’d rather be a story teller than a teacher.

Today I’d like to share a client’s story, and I appreciate her candour and bravery. I’ve not edited her writing and it’s posted in its entirety.

* * * *

As one of Simon's clients, I would like to describe some of my experiences from the perspective of a receiver of Simon's distance healings for you, the reader. I hope by sharing my experiences you may find more comfort and trust in working with Simon, too.

I am not religious and would consider myself a sceptic, but I was in need of healing so I reached out to Simon after discovering his website.

Simon has appeared, at times, as an angel. I don't necessarily see him like I see a table or a chair, but I feel him or see glimpses. It's difficult to describe. During one healing session, I felt as though blue lightening or light was being focused into my injury and healing the area. Toward the end of the session, I felt Simon wrap his arms around me, but they weren't arms, they were white wings. I felt him stroke my hair and face and tell me things would be OK.

Another day I was having a tough go of things and physically I was not feeling well. Early in the day, Simon communicated with me and I mentioned I wasn't feeling well, and he said he'd stop over in spirit to give me healing. At the time I didn't think a lot about it. But when I sat on the couch to rest and clear my head that afternoon, I felt Simon's presence sitting next to me. I felt him put a hand on my knee, another on my shoulder, and press his cheek against mine. Warm! My cheek felt very warm. During the remainder of the day, I felt him occasionally near me and saw occasional glimpses of him out of the corner of my eye. He didn't walk with me when I moved from room to room, he'd simply "be" there in an instant. Kind of like a flash, then gone again. His presence was very comforting and I felt he was sending me healing energy.

(I know what you're thinking right now. It's okay, as I'd be thinking the same thing too.)

Not all my healings with Simon have been the same. He doesn't always appear to me to be an angel and at times I have not felt him at all. During sessions, I have also put my own hand on my lower back or my neck for the area to receive healing. Although, it felt as though someone placed my hand there and my hand felt like someone else's hand. And, again, it felt very warm.

I've also had a healing with Simon that was very sensual in nature. I felt hugged, comforted, and loved; very much so. It's hard to describe in words, but I felt massive love from the universe surrounding both of us. It was so beautiful that I could not hold back tears. I woke feeling refreshed and full of love.

All these experiences have occurred with no effort, no belief systems, and no expectations on my behalf. I can't explain these experiences, but have stopped questioning my feelings and perceptions. I am at peace. Thank you, Simon. You are a gift and I love you.

* * * *

Thank you, I love you too.

If you’ve had a healing from me and would like to share the experience I’d be grateful, and we could make this a regular feature for this blog. Talk soon, Simon.

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Healing or Remote Control Bodies

Today I had an amazing healing with a client I’d seen once before eighteen months prior. These clients are rare, and there’s only been three in three years. A common response to healing is movement on the table: muscle flexing in unusual sequences, visible vibrations, head movements, limbs lifting and extending, limbs floating, spasmodic tensing that makes the body or limbs jump, and a variety of other subtle movements. These responses coincide with the body work and manipulations I see spirit doing on the energetic body.

Three clients, in varying levels of altered states, have physically moved and or have been manipulated by spirit. They perform complex, almost yoga like movements on a massage table, and they don’t fall off the table. Bear in mind that some of the spirit healers doing the work have lived thousands of years ago, so what I’m seeing is ancient physiotherapy/bodywork.

Today’s client was aware she was being manipulated by spirit, but couldn’t open her eyes or stop her body from moving. The movements started with twitching and muscle spasms, and then her right hand was lifted by the wrist. The hand appeared to float without any muscle tension or evidence the client was holding the arm up. She said afterwards that she felt someone holding her wrist and then they moved her arm.

The arm rotated numerous times and was stretched in different positions. Her head rolled from side to side, and then, stretching the neck, rotated slowly. At the same time she rolled onto her side and twisted her shoulders away from her hips. The synchronised movements were flowing and worthy of a gymnast, and they continued for twenty minutes. The energy and feeling in the room was breath taking, and the healing mark on my hand was glowing white.

I believe I’ve separated the clients mind and conscious direction from the body. The body isn’t being manipulated to move, the body is moving to heal itself. The potential of that accomplishment is staggering. Whether clients move this way or not the healing still manifests in the body, but this way is exciting to witness and ponder about.

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I’d like to fill a Hospital with Love

I’d like the opportunity to work in a hospital. I’d take a couple of healers with me, and over a week touch as many people as possible. I’d start with the nurses because they’d transfer the healing to the patients. They’re compassionate and they have the most contact with patients.

I believe recovery from injury and illness would be accelerated if I was given this chance. I’d like to see genuine healers working in hospitals, and I’d like to teach healing to nurses. If they can believe that every time they touch a patient they can heal them, it will happen.

A client came to see me for emotional problems, but she’d also had an accident and her leg had been in plaster. She was wearing a brace and she had scarring where steel rods had been implanted. I wasn’t aware that I was healing her leg because I was engrossed in her emotional energy, but I assumed that I had been.

Four weeks later she booked another appointment and told me that her surgeon had told her to come back and see me. She was on a waiting list to have her medial ligament repositioned (as I have no medical training this is possibly an incorrect description). Apparently, whatever I’d accomplished with the medial ligament was impossible without surgery.

I praise the surgeon for encouraging the girl to see me again. According to the client the surgeon was so amazed by the result that he wanted to see if I could fix something else. I’m not sure if I was successful as the client hasn’t returned.

In Australia people can be on a waiting list for surgery for months and sometimes years. With healing some of those surgeries wouldn’t have to happen. The benefits for everyone are obvious.

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No, We Don't Heal Naked Here

I’m in writing mode so I have to be brief—the muse has teeth.

I’ve had some funny things happen while I’ve been healing, so I thought I’d share one. A lady came for healing and proceeded to undress while my back was turned. I was lighting candles at the time, and when I turned around she was about to take off her singlet. A thin, here’s my breasts I don’t wear bras cotton singlet. I also noticed she had rolled the top of her I don’t wear briefs either skin tight pants down.

I smiled and casually told her, “There’s no need to take your clothes off.”

She smiled back and told me that she had been to a, I’d rather not say, healing workshop, and the people running the workshop had told one of the participants that they weren’t ready to be healed because they didn’t take their clothes off.

Impossibly her pants stretched further as she hopped onto the healing table, and I wondered if it was painful. No. Apparently not, as she made no effort to reposition her yes I have a birthmark. I concentrated on my pre-healing routine while she informed me that a lady had then undressed and presented herself for healing: music, check, dim lights, check, tan lines, check, nipples—oh crap! Check!

“She undressed in front of everyone?”

“Yes.”

“No screen or sheet to cover her?”

“No.”

In case you’re wondering, you can keep your clothes on when you come for a healing. Please.

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My top 5 tips for Energy Healers

I’m asked all the time about how I heal, and although some of what I’m about to share is on my website, and scattered throughout other posts, here’s my top five tips for having consistent results. Of course these might change next week, and they should, because action and consciousness evolve as faith grows.

1) Have faith. When I mention this most people assume I’m talking about having faith in God, or in spirit. Have faith in yourself first. No matter what the outcome believe you can heal. Do not judge your potential to heal by success or failure.

2) Don’t make excuses. I hear too many people saying things like: the person’s not ready to be healed, they’ve chosen this illness for their higher good, they’ve chosen to live a short life, and … (fill the gap). Don’t buy into this at all.

3) Have no expectation. The only thing that you need to focus on is healing. I do this by repeating the phrase perfect health, but I don’t think about how that will manifest in the client. I’m only healing.

4) Every time you heal it’s the first time. There are similarities between healings, but try to avoid comparing one healing with another. This will prevent you from establishing a routine.

5) Know that you’re not in control. The only thing you control is your willingness to walk up to the table over and over again. Don’t be afraid. Dig this out of your subconscious mind. Trust me, in there, it’s screaming, ‘I’m hanging on tight!’

Good luck and happy healing. Whether you’re a healer or a patient I’d love to know what has helped you to heal.
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3D and 5 Zombies

Zombies scare me, and if you shuffle down my hallway moaning and breathing like a camel at the Birdsville races I’m going to scream like Amy Whinehouse being photographed. If I’m not paralysed with fear I’d have to decapitate you, and then I’d have to move to Fern Gulley with Sam Worthington and the Na’vi.

It’s almost 2012 and the apocalypse is coming. Damn those Mayans for not publishing the calendar for the next ten thousand years. I know carving on rock is tough, but my grandmother is gambling all her money on the pokies because she doesn’t believe she’ll wake up on 22nd December. “Nanna, I still want my $10 Christmas money!”

Prophetic visions are mysterious. I’ve had a few: 9/11, the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami, bush fires, and earthquakes, but the images are random and there’s never enough information to determine an exact location or time. I’m left feeling helpless and overwhelmed.

I’ve not had any about 2012. I see conflict, fires, more earthquakes, cyclonic storms, and planes falling from the sky, and Gegu remains quiet. If you don’t believe the world’s at war now then you haven’t been watching the news. Personally I’d like to see zombies, because then war would make sense. Is the world going to end? I hope not, well at least not before I conquer my fear of zombies.

What I can share is a conversation I had with a new guide. I’d listened to an audio CD about living in the third dimension and transitioning to the fourth, and had been thinking about how complex science is and what the hell does all this mean? According to Mr CD there’s X number of dimensions and we/humans live in the 3rd, but only vibrate at 2.5, so until we function at 3 we won’t transition to 4, but there’s actually 5, and 5 universes with 5 different dimensions, and this is where spirit lives, and when you conquer the 5 zombies you will live with 5 avatars in Fern Gulley.

What the? Thank you, Rove.

The guide’s text is in italics.

“The first thing to grasp is that you and I, them and us, are singular not plural. We exist not dimensionally, but as beyond space/time/matter. See this moment, this communication, as a giant sheet of paper. Fold the paper. You are now hidden in the fold, and here I am.”


He’s on the folded paper. I’m in the fold.

“Fold the paper again. Now I’m hidden in the fold, but I’m also here on the top surface. Every fold creates another space with an upper and lower surface. You only exist on one plane/surface. What is created on the other surface? A reflection?”

“Of what?”

“Possibility. Potential. If we keep on folding we create surfaces in each plane/level. You become smaller, but the field becomes larger. The field is the sum of all the planes. We’re all in the field but invisible to each other.”

“What makes us visible to each other?”

“As your awareness grows our frequencies become receptive to each other.”

“Awareness?”

“Less resistance.”

“Where am I?”

“Overlaid.”

“Where are you?”

“Overlaid.”


“What separates us?”

“Perception. A thin veil of vibration/frequency.”

“What do you perceive me to be?”

“Life.”

“What do I perceive you to be?” Gegu encourages me, “That’s the right question.”

“A life form. You perceive me to be something because you are something. You are a man, and you must be successful, sad, happy, in love, vengeful, a myriad of things, but you are only life/creation.”

“The physical expression of creation?”

“No. You are the creator and the created. Life.”

“But we/I evolve.”

“Yes. If you address disharmony you will evolve. If not you will cease to have form."

“Is it important to you?”

“Is it?”


“What I meant to say was; it’s important to us.”

“I know and my response remains, is it? Your plane affects all the other surfaces, both created and creating.”


“Can we go back to the folding?”

“Yes. You see the folding making the space smaller, when in fact it makes the space larger. Every question you ask increases the space.”


“But it has no size.”

“Close, and you are thinking. Everything becomes, and is, the centre. The field resonates beyond negative and positive space/time flow. It’s present.”

I paused and it was as if the world stopped. I had the sense of every voice, but I remained silent, and the guide was gone.

What the? I know, Rove, let’s go find a zombie. I hope Sandra Bullock doesn’t turn into a zombie.

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2012 or as I like to refer to it, "Who murdered common sense?"

Due to the ongoing hysteria and misinformation about the world coming to an end in 2012, this will be brief. I suspect many people will be disappointed come 2012: while they’re eating cold baked beans and peeing into a water purifier I’ll be watching the summer cricket series. No, you haven’t slipped into the fourth dimension, that funny feeling is from the build up of carbon dioxide, it won’t be long, you’ll be an enlightened being soon, and my all time favourite, yes, I’m still up here.

It would be nice to think that there will be a shift in global consciousness sometime soon. I’d like to believe that third world debt will have a value of zero, another ten million people needn’t die from starvation, the environment is restored, the media reports truthfully and unbiased, The Simpsons is replaced by a children’s show, and I can go shopping without someone saying fuck in front of my children. But, I’m not holding my breath or building a bunker in the state forest—hey! I’m a bloody Australian and I don’t care if Aboriginals finger-painted here twenty thousand years ago.

Well that’s done it. There’s no way I’m surviving the apocalypse now. I’m sorry guys, I’m grateful to live here, and touch the earth that your ancestors have respected for two hundred thousand years, and embarrassed that our ancestors have mistreated this land for two hundred years.

2012 will come and go and I imagine that by 2020 some people might look back and see that a global community evolved and consciousness shifted enough to change the world. We’re at the precipice and we can topple backwards or roll forwards. If we roll, and I pray we do, then the momentum will build and my great grandchildren will live in a better world.

Part 2 coming soon. No, that’s not a bunker I’m digging, it’s a hangi hole.

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